Welcome to
Last Updated: 2/22/98
That's right, welcome to KalaniNet, home of all things Kalani. Well, I couldn't leave this page with an uninspired title like "Kalani's Home Page", could I? Well, not for more than 4 years, at least. Change happens. Deal.

This is the place to learn all about all things Kalani. Probably more than you needed to know. Possibly more than you wanted to know, but don't worry... somewhere, lurking in the back of that pointy little head of yours is the knowledge that you can hit HOME or even DISCONNECT any ol' time it starts to get to be too much. So deal, bucko.

Anyway, onto me.

First off, and most important, you probably got here from my Renaissance Faire Page This cute little site has all sorts of useful information relating to the Renaissance Faires that dot the country, and the California Renaissance Faire circuit in particular.  I have pages and pages of handy-dandy Faire Links, and it's also home to The Guild of the Distilled, The Why Not Players Juggling School, and other such not-all-that-lofty pseudo-organizations. I love the word "psuedo". It makes me happy to use it for some reason. I think I'll start to use it more often... But I digress. If you want to see what else the page has to offer, you'll just have to go there yourself and see. I didn't spend all that time putting the damn thing together just so you could get a quick summary here and ignore it as useless. In case you missed the really blatant link at the beginning of the paragraph, I'll add another link to Kalani's Renaissance Faire Page here.

OK, what else have I wasted my time putting together for the uncaring public? Well, nothing, really. OK, lots of stuff, but it's not really for the uncaring public. Mostly, it's for me and my friends, and those who I hope will someday be my friends. So if something seems organized in an odd manner, like a schedule, or something, it's probably because it makes sense to me that way, and the rest of you can take a long walk off a short Iraqi firing squad for all I care. *joke*

In any event, I have spent considerable time and effort assembling a pretty cool Bookmark Page that lists pages I have found worthwhile enough to bother bookmarking, organizing and assembling into this page. In fact, it's really so spiffy that I use it as my startup page (sorry, Yahoo) for every time I fire up the ol' web browser. I have several friends and a couple of family members who do, too, so it can't be all that bad. And no, it's not a random link page with an endless mass of links, I've devoted a lot of time into creating a page that loads fast and is easy to navigate. Plus the links are pretty cool.

Wow. The fact that you've actually read this much pure text and are still going almost tricks me into thinking you actually want to know more about me, personally. Well, the RenFaire is such a big part of my life, well, the part that matters, at least, that you'll learn a lot about me by learning about the Faire. But in case you need more nitty-gitty details, you could, theoretically, I mean, if you really wanted to, you know, um, follow one of those things, those, those link things, until, eventually, at long last, just when you thought you couldn't stand it any more, the seas parted, and before you arose the thing that you wanted the most, the aforementioned (meaning back above in this paragraph, where I was saying you could follow a link, in so many words) link to my About Kalani page.


OK, enough of me being funny, how about someone else? One day I was really bored, and amused my self by converting the Canonical List of Lawyer Jokes into HTML format. Told you I was bored.

Interesting project of the week (in Jan '98, at least)... a private chat page. Need to chat with a friend? Need to chat with me? (You'll have to let me know, first, of course) Have a java-capable browser, like a relatively recent version of Netscape Navigator/Communicator or MS Internet Explorer (*washing bad taste out of mouth*)? Try my new Chat page, which I'll get around to making pretty at some other time.

Finally, we come to that little portion of the web page where the Webmaster (that's me... isn't it impressive sounding?) asks the peon, er, user (that's you) to give me feedback and tell me where I can stuff my... I mean, compliment me profusely on how magnificently the results of my backbreaking (well, butt-spreading) labor have turned out. Or, you're just lazy and wanted to click a button to avoid typing my incredibly difficult to remember e-mail address. *shrug* Makes no difference to me. Anyhow, I can be reached at the following address/mailto link: Kalani@kalani.net

Tough address, huh? OK, you dragged it out of me. I have an AOL account, too, that I hardly ever use, although I run AIM to access buddy lists most of the time. My AOL screename is KalaniP. Just don't mail me there, because I've gone months without checking the account before.

for your viewing pleasure.
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